AWAKEN

Remember, you are dust and to dust you will return.

SCRIPTURE READING - DAY 1 (ASH WEDNESDAY)


Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
and lead me in the everlasting way.
(NASB)





MEDITATION by Patty Metcalf


God desires raw honesty, within ourselves and with him. Anything less is a sham. Over the last 27 years, I have been involved in healing prayer ministry and I must say that inner honesty is foundational to healing. God knows what to touch in our lives and often these “touch points” are areas of pain or shame. We would rather avoid these areas. Over the years we become skillful at hiding them. Eventually, they catch up with us; and finally, when the pain of not dealing with them becomes greater than the pain of dealing with them, we allow God to work.

It was not until I was 40 years old, hit in the face with a serious depression, that I began to allow God to search my anxious thoughts. He took me back to my childhood and I began to recognize the roots of co-dependency and dysfunction that had plagued my life for 30 years. Though difficult to deal with, I became grateful for his gentle hand in helping me walk into greater healing and freedom.

In contrast, a dear friend—a gorgeous, vivacious woman—had a horrific past. It was so excruciatingly painful that she shrank from looking inside. I begged her to examine issues in her life and let God work. She refused. Today she sits amid the smoldering ruins of her life. Her family has disintegrated; she is a shell of her former vibrant self.

It is agonizing to see this incredibly wonderful person in such a state. Can God still redeem her? Of course he can. All he needs to hear her say is, “Search me O God, and…see if there is any hurtful way in me…” for her to begin a long, but still attainable, journey toward wholeness.

I see it in my own life and in the lives of those I pray with—when we are gut-wrenchingly honest with God, he works. He doesn’t want us to gloss over how we really feel in order to sound spiritual.

In scripture, we clearly see this pattern of total honesty between God and his good friends (servants, prophets, kings)—those who are truly seeking God hold nothing back from him. They tell him how they feel and they allow God to talk to them, giving his perspective, pointing out truth. Sometimes this is done through his Spirit speaking to their hearts, sometimes through remembering his deeds and his Words, and sometimes through people whom God sends their way.

The result is a deepening connection with the Father, a transformed life, and a fuller experience of walking in the way everlasting—whole and free—like Jesus.




REFLECTION


Are there areas of your life that you are avoiding because of pain or shame?


What do you think God wants you to do about this?


Choose one area and ask God what he wants to say about this area. Be still for five minutes and listen internally for his quiet voice. Write down what comes into your awareness (thoughts, words, or images) and then dialogue with God about it.