Awaken: Day 10

REMEMBER, YOU ARE DUST AND TO DUST YOU WILL RETURN.
SCRIPTURE READING - DAY 10


Hosea 5:15 - 6:2

Then I will go back to my place until they
admit their guilt. And they will seek my face;
in their misery they will earnestly seek me.

Come, let us return to the LORD. He has
torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he
has injured us but he will bind up our
wounds. After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will restore us, that
we may live in his presence. (NIV)


MEDITATION by Bill O’Byrne


Some of the Russian leaders I work with were hungry for more of God and decided to go through the prayer exercises of St. Ignatius. One of the most difficult weeks is summarized by this prayer: “Lord, give me a growing and intense sorrow for my sins.” That prayer also expresses the essence of Lent.

Vladimir recently complained to me about his journey through this exercise: “Who wants to spend a whole week meditating on his sins? I’m just digging up all this dirt. Where is God’s presence in all this? I’m used to feeling guilty, or sensing the Spirit’s conviction of sin. But I hate dwelling on it all the time! I can’t wait for this week to be over!” “What were you praying for this week?” I asked. “Did God answer that prayer?” As we unpacked Vladimir’s experience of the exercises, we saw that God was indeed answering his uncomfortable prayer.

Vladimir had gone beyond seeing how his behavior hurt others and offended God’s holiness. He was realizing how his attempts to find comfort and fulfillment apart from God are self-defeating, how pervasive his pursuit of control is. Both effectively push God and his love away.

Hosea’s prophecy is a blistering litany of Israel’s misplaced search for control and comfort. God’s strategy is not simply to punish Israel; he wants to wean them from their false dependencies. He does that in love by leaving Israel alone with its sin.

The life God longs to give me in his presence is free of my dependencies. Something essential within me needs to change, and I cannot change it myself. Though God is the only One who can change me, my response is still important. Like Israel, we usually have to be left alone with the depth of our sin before we will voluntarily welcome the grace of true repentance.

When I spend enough time with the depth of my sin, I learn just how unconditional God’s love for me is. Guilt is not healing. At best, it produces behavior modification. Love is transforming. And when we are absolutely convinced of his love, we can cooperate with the uncomfortable convicting work of the Spirit.

As we learn to welcome the grace of conviction, he will accomplish the deeper work in us of developing a revulsion to sin and a repulsion from sin ahead of time. And it is in that transformational process that we learn to receive the deeper, life-giving streams of his presence flowing in and through us.


REFLECTION


How has God been showing you your dependencies and your grasp for control? How have you responded?


How can you receive the latest revelation of your sinfulness as a demonstration of God’s love for you?


Pray: Lord, I am willing to be left alone with my sin, so that I can be transformed.